Dad-Daughter

28 yeras apart[my little one and my hubby here]

Little girls are father's darlings.

The time buzzer rings.

Her footsteps mature into bigger, following that of father. 28 years apart then will seem a newer picture than the one today where the tiny toes stretch to reach her dads....

Dad-daughter race [picture courtesy my hubby and my little one]

Dad daughter race,

Dad fears.  Soon the daughter outgrows his trace,

She has to grow up independent and bold,

As the father grows old.

Cherished moments of today are going to be supports for tomorrow. Little daughters chatters will be future verses to rember and sing........



This entry is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with imlee.com

Wherever You Are

It all began with just  a piece of news. A sad demise, that can shake you off. Why is "death" a fact so hard to gulp down.Why is it like a dagger at your heart leaving one scar on your mind?

My eyes dint like a wink of sleep. Every time the eyes closed his face gleamed in the minds eye. An unbearable restlessness. Thoughts rushing in like roaring waves. Accumulation of numerous memories, cherished time spent with him, refused to leave the mind. Now and then would the mind say oh-no, oh why! Alas. It was the end of his journey of life.

It is a hard fact. The moment filled in me with deep grief never to cease. Ears dint want to hear anything more. Appetite was long forgotten. Air around seemed so dull. Life around you seemed like a reel of slow motion. Deep mourning sadness creeping upon constantly and endlessly....Rotation of thoughts continued. Had to pause after all, it was not the end. It is another beginning for the rest of us without him.

He lived his life neatly for these 90 years. Well organised and disciplined person as he was known for. 

Whether you will turn into a star twinkling in the sky, or whether you will be another fairy in the heaven; I will always miss you on this earth; BUT you will remain alive in my hearts dear "ajju". All that I can say is, what I am today is majorly attributed to my Grandpa dear- you taught me discipline you taught me love, you made me laugh. You shared my dreams. You were the one from whom I inherited not just genes but the humanity. 



Peace be with you, wherever you are.

This entry is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with imlee.com

Sex Education

This article won a prize:

Courtesy:Google.

"Sex" a healthy biological concept, is it termed "dirty" and censored" even today? Do we still feel a sense of guilt/shame as we talk about sex?. 

It has been ages since the concept of separating the two wonderful human genders on this earth existed. Today the evolution has taken over.  And children are no more at the mercy of cheap pornographic pictures, or the fear of misinformation from equally ignorant friends. Many educated families inculcate "sex" education in children in sober, positive, and compassionate methods. Yet how far has it gone successful in schools? Though the western world inculcates sex education yet there are still not any less of teenage pregnancies which is a due concern in India too. Is it not a must to be taught in schools too? And that includes  "bad and good touch" to the pre-adolescent too. 

 

Access to pornography, condom commercials are as common as coffee or toffee advertisements. Why Popular  Bollywood movies of recent times have been quite educative on such topics while women crime has dirty and high statistics today.

For a moment I was frozen today evening as my mere seven years old narrated me how her day with her friend was." .....And you know amma, I told Stina how a baby is born. You have to push, the doctor will pull it out. But I am sure you don't need the vacuum cleaner always isn't it?"  One big lump in my throat and I managed to speak "errr we will speak at home, I am driving and there is a signal ahead". I am still thinking over it that it came too soon and how do I handle this tomorrow. And what about Stina? I am sure her mom has a surprise too. Huh.

Our children should be empowered with knowledge instead of exposing them to the hypocrisy of the adults. Denials or avoiding would definitely break the boundaries of frankness. Being open to children is tough BUT important as they decide the fate of their tomorrow. And we adults serve as a guide today. Apart from literacy the education should include sex-education in the overall personality department and should be regarded as primary responsibility in schools. Earlier generations grasped the terms with their sexuality with natural circumstances or the mother teaching the menstrual hygiene to daughters. Today the schools have taken the responsibility of this to major extent, with partial options kept open with councellor present in school for support. We go ahead to educate children with the most abstract of science yet refuse to inculcate the most commonest phenomena of human science. Do we want to make social, ethical boundaries to this? I think they are divine and children rightfully should be bestowed with it. The schools do teach hygiene, must also encourage a child to recognise objectionable behaviour, bad touch. A mere sense of when to raise a alarm upon someone behaving irresponsibly  forms a part of it. Putting aside the gender bias it is also time to realise that both gender are equally prone to any social evils or crime. A healthier education in right manner remains in the required list for the two genders equally and at the same time demanding the moral responsibility by both the guardians and the schools.

While I also respect the fact that a holistic sex education will surely not eradicate the crime in the society and might even have pitfalls or negatives of its own, yet it promises a flicker of  better social conditioning and better bet on fighting social evils.

Isn't it time for change?. Isn't today's evils of society a wake up call?

Reference:

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-02-12/news-interviews/31051904_1_daniel-radcliffe-schools-education

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-02-28/jaipur/31107228_1_adolescent-education-programme-teachers-schools

http://knowledge.allianz.com/health/healthy_living/?1648/healthy-development-from-pregnancy-to-adolescence

Love the lady in blue and Mantra of Marriage

"She came in blue salwar kurtha, matching accessories top to bottom, from ear rings,sandals,bag to "mathe ki bi bindhi". 

No ...no no said my mind but not the eyes. Could not stop looking at her killer looks. Looked like a fairy walking down from the blue strip of the rainbow straight on the blue carpet and towards me........".

This was the chanting of his adrenaline thumping  he felt as he watched the girl in blue who never left any opportunity for an encounter with him. It seems she was in love with him. College days and teenage love! His constant ignorance towards her made her only more stubborn. Following him to bus stops and college entrance grew into routines.

Ultimately world toppled for him. Repeated hatred turned into love. Repeated actions had their magical influence and he started liking her.   Her appealing tantrums had cast the spell, dare any guy resist when a girl has her stubborn strategies fully focused. He started liking her........Only to remain in his heart and never revealed to her in the three years of college. 

Excuse me, this wasn't the theme of a bolly wood movie with SRK and Kajol. These are the woes of my eligible bachelor friend and his family has lined up profiles and pictures of prospective girls for him. Yes what an pity, he will go through the popular Indian ceremony of "seeing the girl".

Scene 1. The girl has her checklist approved  by her parents and also a to do list.  Alphabetically sorted in Microsoft and printed in colour. The prospective groom  is in gulf. NRI. Means money. So the girl better put up her best to catch the prey.

Scene2. My boy cant wait for his chance to find one "beautiful wife" for himself. And he has already started his dieting and cut downs on caffeine and teas to manage the paunch lest one fair beautiful girl notices the wrong thing and paunch turns out to be the spoil sport. Has done his full homework for the forth coming adventure called marriage.

                  courtesy Google image

Well well well, my point is not just about his selecting a bride. Is today still the day where traditions rule the times and beat the hearts call? What if the blue girl was right for her. What if they really fell in love and found right partners in them? 

Traditional ceremonies are so very interesting and the best part is the variety of food laid out for you.

What raises a call and rings the alarm is:

1. Will you spend few hours or few meetings and decide this is the girl for you?

2.  A small question air round can decide your fate?

3. "Will you cook, stay at home, do my house" questions from the boy and "will you take me around the world, come home early from office" questions from girl is enough?

There is no x-step rules for happy married life. Neither is there a mantra to be patented. Blissful married life is about making your own mantra for each situation throughout the married life, to adhere to and compel your mind and heart towards winning each others heart over any ego's and making life easy.

My personal Mantra for a blissful married life would be:

1.You want to be independent? Remember your spouse wants to be too. Space to think generates more love.

2. Both need to talk, but when the heat in matter glows, one of you talk, so things aren't blown out. Temper is common, but at one time only one is allowed to show it!

3. Dislike something, never mind but only for your partner you can manage to like it for a while. You need not like the action or thing, but you love your spouse, so.

4. Raking mistakes of past repeatedly can aggravate present relations. Best forbidden.

5. Never bring the in-laws/relatives or even children for that matter, in your disagreements.

List can be elaborated to endless.



What about the path of the long future where in up-teem personal compromises need to be ensured. These compromises are like bitter pills that make your life healthier .



Love and let love......



Cheers,

Sush

Girl Child's Agony

"May you be the mother of a son"- is a common blessing for a married woman in India. Is this a step motherly attitude towards daughters? A girl child in India leads a neglected multi-cursed multi –abused life? She is toned to accept a second class status in the traditional male dominated socio-economic set up. AtharvaVeda aptly sums up this fact with the verse "Grant me a son and a girl elsewhere"-I remember reading this somewhere. No, when I write this it is definitely not a generic offensive statement but surely a factual reality still pertaining in human world especially in India. Today's educated class longing for a girl child after birth of a son is no new. Vice-Versa also applies. The interest is positive. Successful women aren't unnoticed. The concern of mine here only is a girl child's manifold problems with religious preaching, social environment, and economic compulsions in many parts of rural as well as urban areas which are still "uncivilized".

A childhood of girl generally constitutes to too many rituals, law and rules, in fact to a mass of cultural directory which eventually form her core identity as a adult. An entry to school is a highlighted milestone. University education is like a heroic deed ending with a certificate that adds weight age to the unending list of "skills" during her "bride seeing ceremony". And by chance if she excels in school then there is tremendous speculation of her ability to be accepted by a equally well matched or "well-to-do" groom.

She is like a liability? She will be raised with all the "values" and beliefs she needs to be imbibed with to keep her in laws happy in future.

The preference to the male is because he is the flame of the family passing on the torch to the next generation. Whereas she is a guest in the paternal home till she is tied to a "husband" material. Liability ends.



Not just India but in many parts of the world she is brought up by assigning negative values as her own entity. The socialism of a girl is still explained by the theme: unwanted, neglected, underdeveloped and exploited.

This is still a concern in the parts of society which will be termed uncivilized. For this to turn into civilized requires the education to realize and accepted equal to a male child.

All that is required is thinking and belief.

Cheers,

Sush

I dedicate this post to the G-Day of round 10 of ABC Wednesday meme. 

Please click here for details and more shots.

Yearn For Company

click to view enlarged image

Females love to talk! Yeah? Any arguments  Naaaa not me. I have given up debating on this. Is there an end for a start on it? Who doesn't long for a company eh?  Urge for an company is lured by any human being, any age, any time. For a chat, for a laugh. For a life! My happy young colleague always wails " Kya life bhayye without wife", as usual followed by my question to him "get married soon will you?".              

This girl in the picture sits alone on the outside of her house at Gokarn. As I passed by she giggled. Amused at this, I threw her an Smile, I ran my hands though my bag, found some stuff  my heart wanted to gift her. She was taken aback. I convinced her I liked her smile. I wanted a picture of her. What a glow that brightedned upon the sweet face.

"What are you reading"? I asked.

 "Taranga" magazine came the reply. Our tiny chatting moment ended with few exchange of information. Where in I learnt she cooks, cleans and guards her house as her parents work outside & return home later. She longed for a friend! Someone to have a quick chat.

"I watch the foreigners". Wish I could mimic her accent [for-en-ers]. It seemes so sweet though. Watching different coloued people walking past the lane [as is Gokarna famous for] was her past time.

"I will get married soon and that will end my boredom" she informed me without my direct question on this very matter. How longing was that voice for "just someone to talk to". 

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The thoughst on longing for a company begins here.

Nostalgia is like a grammar class. You are in present tense but the past looks perfect, "past perfect"!

The seductive, desperate yearning of the past looks so very sweet as we walk down the memory lane. Just like chewing the cud over and over. But here the sweetness persists.

The memoirs of the 3 girls who were once classmates, neighbours, best buddies. Were notorious as "fevicol gum" friends in school and college. A small piece of fun they shared together. Laughed together. As is well a established rule the teenage girls shared all thier joys and wearies. One tiny world of their own in this small world did they live in.

click to view enlarged image

Outdoors games apart like shuttle badminton or anyting, these girls loved to cycle down about a kilometer or two towards the hilly green shrubby area outskirts of the housing colony they lived in. They might talk till their jaws ached. Silly to Sallu [Salman Khan] to anything and many things. A fancy they would take for the Nancy Drew, Bess and George the school time  favourires. Comparing themselves into the characters with one an athlete, one plump and other left to be an imaginary detective! The green small jungle still had some foxes and peacocks and jungle cats. One tiny hill atop was the favourite set up venue. The very green look, the air still sitrrs in my mind fresh.

I have loafed into this air with the other 2 girls! I will share some beautiful green pictures of "that hill" in future posts soon. My best pals from Manipal.

I was reminded of them after my encounter with my Gokrana giggling lady in her teens. I slid myself into her shoes off and on. Like the "lights- camera - on" "cut" again and again and again.........

Cheers,

Sush

You Have to Go

Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I'll miss you, Until we meet again

Its absolutely time I reminded myself this popular quote as a dear friend's family departs from Doha in couple of Days. We were dismayed upon learning this news. Though the real fact so hits hard teaching us how we go with the flow in life and how we ever cannot simply get so attached to someone whom you will dare not feel like departing with?

The interesting part about the beginning of our journey together owes to our  "cloth hanger shopping". Uhh, we[me and Hubby-H] were in deep discussion as to what kind of hangers will suit out new closets. We had just moved into Doha. Felt an figure moved closer to me and H smiling suddenly at an stranger. "Hi, I am new to Doha, heard you speaking konkani and couldn't stop by to say hello". That was the introduction the stranger threw at us, and we were all overjoyed. That introduction led to endless chats. Finding friends hailing from your native, speaking your mother tongue is nevertheless a welcome sign to any"body".

We awaited his family to fly from Mumbai. My daughter found a friend of  her age too. The winter evening and our first family get together in my dining hall is fresh in my memory. As for me I had discovered someone who drew so close to heart with the waves of friendship that today as I look back down the memory lane - I thank him, the sounds of his words emanating from pictures in my mind's eyes. For had he decided not to talk, I  assume there were very faint chances I would have met Chandrika who is so dear to me today.

We had found a family away from family as we lived in this desert away from dear and near ones.

4+ years have rolled over since those times leaving heavy impressions on our cherished memories. We have shared our joys. sorrows, countless seconds of feelings and views, our lives. Our children found a companion in each others soul. Yes, all ingredients of the special friendship are all there.

Huh, when the geographical separation seems so tough to handle, it is this post that makes me feel 1% lighter today.

My cognitive senses tell me the notion of friendship to be one hard nut to crack. I mean, much has been said about what makes one a "great, good, best,......x,y,z" friend. 

Ask me. I say I don't have any words to quote on this!. Simply an feeling it is. If you have experienced, yes that is the way.

I have very much experienced. Absolutely. Have been lucky to have some handful of 'friends" [ I don't add any adjective with it].

Perhaps I could not stop if I started penning my mind on this notion. On second thought I would definitely declare one line. Some spiritual inspirations/ beliefs that comes in to you when you feel the friend who trust in you and accepts just as you are is definitely friendship.

Cheers,

Sush